You are an untreated yeast infection.
First you wrote a series of books with no basis of understanding for the genre in which you wrote. Now it would appear that you have been deluded further into thinking that you actually have the know-how to produce feature films. Like Mr. Rogers delving into cooking meth, someone’s about to lose the skin on their face.
Your ultra-sanctimonious, smugly pious, anal-probing, pile-driving face described Interview with the Vampire as “yuck” and, deep breath, Donna, The Lost Boys as “creepy.” In that same article your rowing boatman was flicked about how your religion led you to shun R-rated movies because they were antithetical to your belief system. Irrespective of the fact that I’ve lost my mind about this oxymoron once already I feel it bears repeating that you have no place dictating terms on a subject you know nothing about. Next thing we know you’ll be directing a porno, although I’m pretty sure Matt Stone and Trey Parker already beat you to that.
You are the smegma on the penis of horror.
You, who copped out of the period issue between Bella and Edward by referring to her menstrual blood as “dead blood” and as a result was not nearly as appealing a scent, not to mention Edward being far too much the gentleman and Bella too embarrassed to talked about it, which, as we all know, is merely an extension of your own uncomfortableness about speaking on such topics because they’re INAPPROPRIATE . . . Too bad we all know Edward would have ravaged that snatch the second she unplugged the super plus ‘poon on day one. Squicked out by period blood and yet you’re about to tackle a semi-corporeal ghost that systematically disembowels people who trespass on her property and stores their remains in her basement bungalow?
You, who slammed the final nail in the coffin when it came to castrating all that is vampire in the world with your “I sparkle in the sunlight and only-eat-fish-and-maybe-chicken-sometimes-vegetarian” vampires, is expected to go Supernatural for the big screen? And I’m supposed to believe you aren’t going to rape ANNA into an unrecognizable pile of cuttlefish entrails?
You are the herpes on the cunt lip of integrity.
Did you even read ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD? Did it fall within the confines of your sheltered life to read such a gore-laden book or is this just another check in your tithing bank account? You are a hypocrite’s hypocrite. You made up excuse after excuse as to why you couldn’t POSSIBLY do the research required to write a valid vampire book and yet here you are, about to delve into the world of horror. A world where, a mere four years ago, you squirmed away from because it was yucky and icky and creepy and BLOOD! On no! Are you abandoning your faith? Is Mooby your new idol? All’s fare in wank and money?
Go get fisted.
Maybe it’ll open your eyes wide enough to see how much of a contradictory wretch you are. You don’t even have the decency enough to stand by your own laurels. It’s one thing to create a raging pile of crap like TWILIGHT and lambast everything that comes with the vampire category as gross or unpleasant or outside of your religious comfort zone. At least then you had the wherewithal to stick to it. Now? Blood and guts and teenagers getting torn in half by a pissed off ghost don’t sound so bad when those dollar signs are attached to it. What a role model you are.
I loved ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD but now your presence with this movie has assured that I will not be seeing it. Even if by some unholy act it turns out good I’ll still pass. I refuse to hand over my hard-earned money to a woman with the moral compass of a turncoat. If you’re going to live your life with your religion on your sleeve at least have the self-respect enough to live up to your own standards. Your name might as well be Larry Craig for all the validity you bring to the table.